{"id":90702,"date":"2021-03-11T12:59:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-11T17:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/"},"modified":"2023-10-06T22:18:26","modified_gmt":"2023-10-07T02:18:26","slug":"toxic-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Toxic Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cWith his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor, but through\nknowledge the righteous are rescued<\/strong>\u201d (Proverbs 11:9<\/strong>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our\nassociations are of great concern to God as they have great influence in and\nover our lives.  While many verses speak\nto this, Proverbs\n11:9<\/strong> identifies the ungodly coupled\nwith their communication and its devastating impact countered by God\u2019s\nprovision of preventative knowledge which rescues the righteous from toxic\nrelationships.  Toxic relationships are\nthose which supplant the fruit of the Sprit (Galatians 5:22, 23<\/strong>) in our lives\nwith resentment, anger, strife, exasperation and ultimately loss of control often\ninflected upon those around us.  Per our\ntext, God provides for our rescue:  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The toxic relationship is self-centered. <\/strong> Such think exclusively of themselves, employing\nulterior motives to their benefit.  This\nis a direct violation of Philippians 2:3\u20134<\/strong>, which says, \u201cDo nothing out of\nselfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above\nyourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests\nof the others.<\/strong>\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. The toxic relationship is marked by\nupheaval and drama.<\/strong>  They weave a\nconstant mesh of pretexts, deceits, untruths, and destabilizing circumstances\nthat fatigue everyone else in their world in order to keep everyone\u2019s focus\nupon them.  They are the example of Proverbs 18:7<\/strong>:\n\u201cThe mouths of\nfools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. The toxic relationship always asserts their\nincontrovertible positions.<\/strong>  Always\nright, they are intolerant of any differing opinion.  Proverbs 16:18<\/strong> says,\n\u201cPride goes\nbefore a fall and a haughty spirit before destruction.<\/strong>\u201d Self-importance\ndominates toxic people, leading not only to their own embarrassment if not\ndestruction, but of those associated.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. The toxic relationship is marked by fear of\ncontact.<\/strong>  Even the thought of interaction,\nknowing how twisted and vexing it will prove to you will not be so for the\nother party.  Unfazed, they not only\ncannot comprehend the dynamic, they certainly do not care how damaging an\ninteraction may prove to your person or spirit. \nProverbs 20:3<\/strong> instructs, \u201cIt is to one\u2019s honor to avoid strife, but every\nfool is quick to quarrel.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. The toxic relationship characterizes itself\nin the role of a victim. <\/strong> Working to\ngarner self-pity for personal gain, toxic people position themselves as the aggrieved\nparty, misunderstood, mischaracterized, portraying themselves as innocent\nvictims.  Playing on sympathies, outsiders\nare given a deceitful impression thereby rendering incorrect conclusions and\ncharacterizations which harm everyone associated, often fostering silent,\nincorrect judgments of friends or family. \nIn short, the epitomize Job 15:35<\/strong>: \u201cThey conceive trouble and give birth to evil, and their womb\nprepares deceit.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. The toxic relationship is based upon\nuntruth.<\/strong>  Toxic people lie more\neasily than they tell the truth and are so convincing that even those who know\nbetter question their own knowledge. Scripture has harsh words for the\nduplicitous.  God has a zero-tolerance\npolicy for liars, and He is not fooled by any of their excuses: \u201cBut as for the\ncowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually\nimmoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake\nthat burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death<\/strong>\u201d (Revelation 21:8<\/strong>).\nIn fact, Proverbs\n6:16\u201319<\/strong> lists seven things the Lord\nhates, and lying is on the list twice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have been\ncalled to peace (Colossians 3:15<\/strong>), but a toxic relationship destroys peace. Some\npeople are so abusive that they will not allow us to seek or broker peace in\nany area. When the relationship is continually filled with unwanted drama, when\nyou find yourself dreading the next blowup, when you cannot believe anything\nthis person says, or when someone is destroying your reputation and sanity, then\nit is time to create distance in the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psalm 1<\/strong> gives specific instructions about\nkeeping away from wicked fools. We are blessed when we do not seek out\nfriendships with them or listen to their counsel. Toxic people fit into that\ncategory. They are not content to destroy their own lives; they must take\nothers with them. It helps to remember that you cannot change a toxic person,\nespecially from within a toxic relationship. You cannot help toxic people\nunless they want to be helped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People-pleasers\nare the most frequent victims of toxic relationships because they want the\ntoxic person to like them. But there are times when closing the door on a\nrelationship is the wisest thing you can do (Proverbs 22:24\u201325<\/strong>). If you are\nmarried to a toxic person who has turned your relationship into a toxic\nmarriage, then a separation may be in order, along with some focused marital\ncounselling. If you are not married, then it\u2019s time to say goodbye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In every\nsituation involving a toxic relationship, take the matter to God in prayer. Cry\nout to \u201creceive\nmercy and find grace<\/strong>\u201d to help in the time of need (Hebrews 4:16<\/strong>).\n\u201cCast all your\nanxiety on him because he cares for you<\/strong>\u201d (1 Peter 5:7<\/strong>). Petition the Lord\nunceasingly to change the heart of the person bringing the toxicity as there is\nhope and healing only in Him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWith his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous are rescued\u201d (Proverbs 11:9) Our associations are of great concern to God as they have great influence in and over our lives.  While many verses speak to this, Proverbs 11:9 identifies the ungodly coupled with their communication and its devastating impact countered […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[534],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nToxic Relationships - Grace Evangelical Free Church<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Toxic Relationships - Grace Evangelical Free Church\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cWith his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous are rescued\u201d (Proverbs 11:9) Our associations are of great concern to God as they have great influence in and over our lives.  While many verses speak to this, Proverbs 11:9 identifies the ungodly coupled with their communication and its devastating impact countered […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Grace Evangelical Free Church\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-03-11T17:59:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-10-07T02:18:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Tony Raker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Tony Raker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Tony Raker\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/#\/schema\/person\/6785bcea471ae92fb3660d811c5c74ef\"},\"headline\":\"Toxic Relationships\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-03-11T17:59:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-10-07T02:18:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/\"},\"wordCount\":851,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Life\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/toxic-relationships\/\",\"name\":\"Toxic Relationships - 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