{"id":90666,"date":"2021-03-11T10:42:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-11T15:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/raising-godly-children\/"},"modified":"2023-10-06T22:18:27","modified_gmt":"2023-10-07T02:18:27","slug":"raising-godly-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/keriritenour.com\/grace\/raising-godly-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Raising Godly Children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Child\nrearing is a great challenge, but also a great privilege: \u201c<strong>God blessed them and said to them, \u2018Be fruitful\nand increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it<\/strong>\u2019\u201d (<strong>Genesis 1:28<\/strong>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Children are the natural result of marriage, which God\nblesses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 In the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God created\nmarriage, blessed it, and encouraged the bearing and raising of children. The\nrole of the parent is a sacred trust from God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Psalm 127:3-5a<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a\nreward from him. [4] Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in\none\u2019s youth. [5a] Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Regard your children for what they are \u2014 that is, God-given\nblessings!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 \u201c&#8230;<strong>a heritage<\/strong>&#8230;<strong>reward<\/strong>&#8230;<strong>blessed is the man<\/strong>\u201d \u2014proving to be a blessing and\na continual source of joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li><strong>TRAIN your children \u2014<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Proverbs\n20:11<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>Even a child is\nknown by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 A child\u2019s conduct is important to God and should,\ntherefore, be of great importance to parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 \u201c<strong>A child is known by his actions&#8230;<\/strong>\u201d \u2014 A child\u2019s\nconduct is obvious to onlookers. It is actually a part of your total testimony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Proverbs 22:6<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>Train up a child in the way he should go, and\nwhen he is old he will not depart from it.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 This is the Bible\u2019s promise,\nperiod. Treasure this conviction, apply it, hold onto it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Training a child involves repetition, reinforcement,\nencouragement (repeat); <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 The training your child most needs is in two areas: (1) in\ncharacter, and (2) in the things of the Lord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 It has been said that until approximately age 8 (and that\nwill vary with the child), the training of children is comprised mostly of\ninput from us. After that, children can begin increasingly to make sound\njudgments from that godly input you have been giving them over their earlier\nyears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Deuteronomy\n6:6-7<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>These commandments\nthat I give you today are to be upon your hearts. [7] Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit\nat home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get\nup.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 The home is the primary training environment. The church is\nonly a helper to you in the accomplishing of your primary responsibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Parents are entrusted with taking our children from 0% to\n100% responsibility for their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Home is the ideal place for\nchildren to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li>learn\nto get along with others<\/li><li>learn\nwork skills, social skills, manners, good attitudes. <\/li><li>Home\nis where parents model being a Christian and, in turn, present to their\nchildren the knowledge and practical opportunities to develop that in their own\nlives.<\/li><li>One\nthing Christian parents must not do, and that is to believe the ancient saying\nthat it &#8220;takes a village&#8221; to raise a child. Absolutely not! The\n&#8220;village&#8221; around you \u2014 often unsaved neighbors, secular\ngovernment-run schools, ungodly media, and the like \u2014 cannot be allowed to have\nsignificant influence on your children. Otherwise, they will steadily erode the\nbiblical values and truths that Christian parents are building into their\nchildren. It is not wise, or even possible, to isolate your children totally\nfrom the outside world. But faithfully fulfill your responsibility as parents\nto ground them in biblical convictions and character formation. Then they will\nbe increasingly ready to face the carnality of our secular cultures and will be\na positive influence rather than becoming victims of worldly value systems.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Ephesians 6:4<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>Fathers, do not exasperate your children;\ninstead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Parents \u2014 including Dads! \u2014 it is your responsibility to\nensure that your children know and serve the Lord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Bible reading, prayer at meals, at bedtimes, for needs &#8230;\nrelating the Lord to their everyday lives and activities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Be part of a good, Bible-believing, worshiping church, and\nteach your children to love being \u201cin church\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Spend devotional time with them personally. Pray with them,\nread the Bible with them. Discuss how the Bible applies to them and their\n(numerous) circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Let your home be filled with Christian music. Sing to the\nLord with your children. Teach them worship songs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t \u201cexasperate\u201d your children. Home is not a Marine boot\ncamp! Rigid, harsh parenting will often lead to rebellion rather than the\ndesired results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 But do present to them, day after day, in a positive and\nencouraging way, the \u201ctraining and instruction of the Lord\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li>Character training \u2014 Address conduct\nand attitudes that are inappropriate, and instruct them in God\u2019s approach to\neach character issue. You don\u2019t necessarily need set times of character\nteaching. It works just fine to seize upon \u201clearning moments\u201d in the midst of\ntheir everyday lives.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li>Bible training! You must&#8230;must&#8230;must\nread the Bible to your children &#8230; and discuss it with them.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li><strong>LOVE your children \u2014<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Titus 2:3-4<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent\nin the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to\nteach what is good. [4] Then they can train the\nyounger women to love their husbands and children&#8230;<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li>Children\nthrive on love. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Tell your children and show them\noften that you love them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Be sure to affirm them. Praise\nthem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Show physical affection. Hug your children, hold them. &nbsp;Lack of wholesome touches and hugs in the home\ndrives some to seek it elsewhere.&nbsp; Unfortunately\nthey too often found it in illicit sexual encounters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 \u201cGive\u201d yourself to your children, even as \u201c&#8230;<strong>Christ loved the\nchurch and gave himself up for her<\/strong>\u201d (<strong>Ephesians 5:25<\/strong>). Love is at its best\nwhen it is giving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Give your children portions of your time. Give them your\nfull attention when they talk to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Be involved in their lives and interests &#8230; listen to them\n&#8230; spend time with them &#8230; include them in housework (you can\u2019t always play\nwith them).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 But love your spouse first and foremost! Dads, the best\nthing you can do for your kids is to love their Mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><li><strong>DISCIPLINE your\nchildren \u2014<\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Proverbs 13:24<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who\nloves him is careful to discipline him.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Discipline them diligently, consistently, and early in\nlife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 You say, \u201cI love them too much to discipline them.\u201d No (!) you\ndon\u2019t. The Bible says that you \u201chate\u201d them if you neglect the discipline they\nneed (<a><strong>Proverbs 13:24<\/strong><\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Start early. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 You\u2019re preparing them, in obedience to <strong>Titus 2:11-12<\/strong>, to be able to say\n\u201cno\u201d to sinful inclinations \u2014 \u201c&#8230;<strong>the grace of God<\/strong> &#8230;\n[12] <strong>teaches us\nto say \u201cNo\u201d to ungodliness and worldly passions<\/strong>&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Notice that love and discipline go hand in hand \u2014 \u201c&#8230;<strong>he who loves him is\ncareful to discipline him<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Remember our threefold key: love, training, and discipline.\nAll three are needed, in a good balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Proverbs 22:15<\/strong>: \u201c<strong>Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the\nrod of corection will drive it far from him.<\/strong>\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Critical to\nour understanding which leads to our action is to grasp two distinct Hebrew usages:\n<strong>the<\/strong> rod and <strong>a<\/strong> rod. The difference may seem\nslight, but in fact the preceding article\u2014whether \u201cthe\u201d or \u201ca\u201d\u2014determines\nmeaning. \u201c<strong>The\u201d<\/strong> rod is always\nmetaphorical, as in <strong>Lamentations 3:1<\/strong>\u2014\u201c<strong>I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod\nof his wrath.<\/strong>\u201d On the other hand, \u201c<strong>a\u201d<\/strong> rod is always with reference to a concrete object\u2014a straight\nstick that might have been used as a tool of measurement (<strong>1Sa 17:7<\/strong>, <strong>Rev. 21:16<\/strong>), a symbol of authority (<strong>Is. 14:5<\/strong>),\nor a staff used in herding sheep (<strong>Lev. 27:32<\/strong>).&nbsp;\nIn every case, when the word rod is used with reference to the training\nor discipline of children, it is preceded by the article \u201cthe\u201d, connoting that\nthe usage is metaphorical.&nbsp; Used\nmetaphorically, therefore, rod-like discipline (a) is consistent and true, (b)\nemanates from a legitimate authority, and (c) establishes boundaries and (d) compels\na choice of action and\/or change (no action and no change is also a \u2018choice\u2019). &nbsp;Further understanding of the metaphor can be\nhad by noting that \u201cthe rod\u201d is also used to refer to God\u2019s righteousness, as\nin <strong>Isaiah 11:4<\/strong>,\nwhere The Lord is described as smiting the earth with \u201cthe rod of his mouth.\u201d\nRod-like child discipline, therefore, is righteous. It is in keeping with the\nnature of God\u2019s discipline of us, his children both adult and child, and\nconsistent with His Plan for us.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Nowhere in\nthe whole of Scripture does God prescribe a specific form of discipline for\nchildren. He only emphasizes, time and time again, that discipline is to be\neffective, discipline must embody certain characteristics and emanate from a\nlegitimate authority figure who is acting with righteousness. Therefore, the\nmere fact that a parent spanks does not mean his discipline has been\n\u201crod-like.\u201d A spanking delivered impulsively, in anger, definitely fails to\nmeet the standard. The angry, out-of-control parent is not acting righteously.\nHis impulsive outburst is self-righteous. It communicates his anger, but it is\nunlikely to do anything but cause resentment on the part of his child. That\nsort of spanking is an example of what Paul was referring to when, in his\nletter to the Ephesians, he exhorted fathers to not exasperate their children.\nA parent exasperates his\/her children whenever he behaves toward them in an\nexasperated fashion, which certainly fits with spankings that are delivered\nimpulsively and out of anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">These\nunderstandings should serve to free parents from a narrow approach to\ndiscipline such as might result from a literal interpretation of \u201c<strong>the rod of\ndiscipline<\/strong>,\u201d and enable them to match their discipline to the\nspecific nature of any given misbehavior and the context in which it occurs. Is\nit not inconceivable that God wants parents to spank in response to every\ninstance of misbehavior? &nbsp;How could God\nin his infinite wisdom and mercy demand spankings for misbehaviors as disparate\nas a child belligerently refusing to clean his room and a child simply\nforgetting to clean his room? Both require discipline, but the same response to\nboth events would reflect neither mercy nor good sense, much less wisdom\ncausing exasperation.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Understanding\nthe difference between \u201ca rod\u201d and \u201cthe rod\u201d also leads to the realization that\ndiscipline and punishment are not one and the same, that discipline is first\nand foremost leadership, not punishment-ship. Yes, punishment is part and\nparcel of discipline, but in the final analysis, it is but a relatively small\npart. In fact, parents who understand that effective leadership is conveyed\nprimarily through authoritative speech (as in, \u201c<strong>the rod of his mouth<\/strong>\u201d)\u2014speech that\nis clear, unequivocal, reflects steadfast commitment to a goal, and compels\naction consistent with that goal\u2014will rarely have to punish their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 You can\u2019t afford not to discipline your children. &nbsp;Do it in combination with much love and godly\ntraining &#8230; and they will bring delight to your soul.&nbsp; There are additional methods of discipline as\nwell, such as \u201ctimeouts\u201d, removing privileges, etc. &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Some\nthoughts about AGE LEVELS for discipline \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 BABIES \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Teach them \u201cno\u201d with loving firmness (not physical). Some\nsuccessful parents recommend starting this verbal training at about age 6\nmonths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t overly \u201cbaby proof\u201d your home. The home is their\ntraining ground. Just remove cherished and dangerous items. Children must learn\nthat there are \u201cNOs\u201d in this world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 TODDLERS \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u2022 Lots of consistent training and\nappropriate discipline are generally needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Self-test: Does my child obey me the first time I ask? If\nnot, there is work to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Do it right at this stage and it will be much easier later\non. Training and discipline &nbsp;done now\nwill most likely help you to not have difficult teens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Teach them boundaries, and give them much freedom within\nthose boundaries. That teaches independence, but also self-control and respect\nfor authority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 PRESCHOOL\nAND ELEMENTARY \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Continue the trio of training, love, and discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Work hard at this stage on developing right attitudes and\ngood character.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 PRETEENS\nAND TEENS \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Continue to use other forms of discipline (remove\nprivileges, etc.).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">SOME FINAL\nSUGGESTIONS \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Public discipline? &nbsp;Deal\nwith the transgression at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Again, expect obedience the first time, every time, as God\ndoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t let children \u201cplay\u201d one parent against the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t conflict openly with your spouse about discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t provoke your children. Be fair and just.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t tempt them to lie \u2014 \u201cDid you do that?!!\u201d \u2014 when you\nalready know that they did it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t make idle threats, such as: \u201cOne more time and I&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Be consistent. A rule is a rule. Enforce it consistently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 When you do discipline, make it count. Then pray together,\nlook for repentance, then forgive and drop it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t compare children openly \u2014 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you act\nlike&#8230;?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t belittle them, because \u201c<strong>the glory of children are their fathers<\/strong>\u201d\n(<strong>Proverbs 17:6<\/strong>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t nag. You shouldn\u2019t have to nag a well-trained child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Don\u2019t keep putting them off. Put down the paper, or close\nthe laptop, and listen to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u2022 Spend quality time with them. But don\u2019t let it put your\nspouse into a secondary place of priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">In sum,\nTRAIN them, LOVE them, and DISCIPLINE them as needed. You will have lifelong\ndelight watching your children live out their lives as productive, godly\nadults.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Child rearing is a great challenge, but also a great privilege: \u201cGod blessed them and said to them, \u2018Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it\u2019\u201d (Genesis 1:28). \u2022 Children are the natural result of marriage, which God blesses. \u2022 In the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God created [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[532],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Raising Godly Children - Grace Evangelical Free Church<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Raising Godly Children - Grace Evangelical Free Church\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Child rearing is a great challenge, but also a great privilege: \u201cGod blessed them and said to them, \u2018Be fruitful and increase in number; 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