A Christian wife is a believer in Jesus Christ whose priorities include godliness as the focus of her life, purposefully deciding to please and obey, choosing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to honor the Lord in her role as a wife. A woman who desires to be a godly, Christian wife can ask herself the following questions:
1. Am I keeping my spiritual life healthy and my top priority? (Matthew 6:33)
2. Have I willingly accepted my God-given role as a partner to my husband? (1 Corinthians 11:3)
3. Do I seek daily to humble myself and serve like Jesus did, rather than seeking to be served? (Mark 10:44–45)
4. Have I stripped my heart of idols, such as shopping, flirtations, hoarding, or addictions? (Exodus 20:3)
5. Does my free time indicate that I value my husband, my family, and my Savior? (Galatians 5:13)
6. Am I guarding the spirit of my home by what I allow in through media, magazines, and music? (Philippians 4:8)
7. Do I keep myself physically and emotionally pleasing to my husband? (Proverbs 27:15; 31:30)
8. Do my dress, makeup, and presentation indicate that I respect my body, my husband, and my Savior? (1 Peter 3:3–5)
9. Have I eliminated worldly vulgarities from my speech (swearing, gross talk, dirty jokes) so that my words are gracious? (Colossians 4:6)
10. Am I a wise and careful manager of household finances? (Proverbs 31:16)
11. Do I give my husband respect because of his position, or only when I think he deserves it? (Ephesians 5:33)
12. Do I take good care of the house and children? (Proverbs 31:27–28)
13. Do I guard my husband’s heart by never revealing private discussions publicly or using his weaknesses against him? (Proverbs 31:11)
14. Am I continuing to develop the gifts and passions God has entrusted to me? (2 Timothy 1:6)
15. Am I relying on my own power or the power of the Holy Spirit to be a godly wife, mother, and disciple? (Galatians 5:25)
Critical for us all is surrendering to the lordship of Jesus. Only with the Holy Spirit empowering us can any of us live as godly people (Galatians 2:20; Titus 2:12). Like our wedding day, the entire direction of our lives has changed (2 Corinthians 5:17) as we begin to see life from God’s perspective. That means a Christian woman will approach marriage with a different mindset than that of a worldly woman, desiring to be a good wife and godly woman living the convictions of Philippians 2:3–4.
Ephesians 5:22–24 addresses the issue of submission, which unfortunately has been mishandled by many. When a husband lives in obedience to God’s expectation for him, a Christian wife has little difficulty submitting to his leadership.
Proverbs 31 applauds virtuous, intelligent, and industrious women—and it was written at a time when the contributions of wives and mothers went largely unnoticed. Godly women can take joy in this when their own choices reflect some of the qualities described there.
One danger that Christian women can encounter in marriage and motherhood is allowing their identities to be completely founded in their family roles. While marriage is good and right and a vehicle for blessing, it should never be viewed as the source of a woman’s value and fulfillment. Only God can be that, and Christian wives are those who see their roles, not as ends in themselves, but as avenues through which they can better serve their Lord (1 Cor. 10:31).
Because Jesus canceled our sin debt (Colossians 2:14), anyone who so desires can become a godly person. Godliness is not dependent upon intellect, education, or religion. It is also not off-limits to those with sinful pasts, divorce papers, or prison records. As followers of Christ, we should all seek to become more godly in whatever role we hold, because it is commanded (1 Peter 1:16) and because we want to be more like the Savior we love.